Different

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain

Asian. American. Two very distinct cultures. “Fish Cheeks” by Amy Tan accurately depicts a typical clash-of-cultures situation at the teenage level. Her feelings of awkwardness and embarrassment are prevalent in most kids with different cultural backgrounds. These feelings exist because of our fear of being different. Her self-consciousness is evident right from the first paragraph when she says that “For Christmas I prayed for this blond-haired boy, Robert, and a slim new American nose.” This statement shows that, at the time, Tan was uncomfortable to be herself in front of Robert. She desires to be a “normal” person like Robert. In other words, she is somewhat ashamed of her Asian heritage.

When it comes to the dinner, Tan uses repulsive imagery to describe the foods, even though it is later revealed that all of those foods were her favorites. This instance shows the inner conflict that was going on inside of Tan—she was confused of whether to be more Asian or more American. She was the only intermediate at the dinner—both Asian and American. She felt alone. As any first-generation Asian American, her racial ambiguity causes this confusion of whether to keep her traditional values or assimilate into white society and abandon her culture—a very tough decision to make.

Although, thanks to her mom, she is reminded of what is actually important in life. “You must be proud that you are different. Your only shame is to have shame.” It doesn’t matter how much Tan tries to be an American on the outside, but on the inside she will always be Chinese. She should be shameful for having shame on herself for being an Asian. Tan must embrace her Chinese traditions while growing into American culture, just like how everyone shouldn't be afraid to be who they really are.